Am I A "Bad Mommy"?

I am sure that we have all heard those famous words out of at least one of our children's mouths "I hate you... you are a bad mommy". We know that our child does not really mean it, that they are just upset, but those words still hurt.

I have always considered my children to be blessings (in every sense of the word)... when I was in my early twenties, doctors told me that I would never be able to sustain a pregnancy. But God had other plans in mind for my life. He blessed me with 3 energetic, crazy, lovable children. The other day my 4 year old said "You are a Bad Mommy" and for some reason I really took offense by it... I did not get angry with my child, but instead I got angry with God instead asking Him "How could you bless me with a child and yet give me a child that can be so cruel towards me?"

Psalm 127:1-5 (The Message)

"Don't you see that children are God's best gift?

the fruit of the womb His generous legacy?

Like a warrior's fistful of arrows

are the children of a vigorous youth.

Oh, how blessed are you parents,

with your quivers full of children!

Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;

you'll sweep them right off of your doorstep."

I have really had to struggle with not "hating" my kids whenever they say unkind words to me. After all, they are just repeating words that they have heard from other people in their lives (I am sure that I have probably contributed to this in some way - I do have a temper and sometimes my "cool" demeanor can get easily overheated. So what do I do when I feel that I am a "bad mommy"... I would love to say that I get down on my knees and pray, but truthfully more often than not, I end up saying unkind things in return. It is almost like in my hurt, I become like a little child and have the attitude of "if you are going to hurt me, than I am going to hurt you back". Truly childish it is, but that is the evil one working inside of us. By showing hurt at my children's words, I have opened the door to allow the evil one into my heart. Once the evil one has gotten into your heart, he loves nothing better than to make you feel worse about the person that you are.

And that is why I have decided to do the following the next time one of my little blessings screams "I hate you" or "You are a bad mommy".

1. I will not return their hurtful words with more hurtful words of my own.
2. I will ask the offending child questions and try and figure out what has brought about this attitude.
3. If it is revealed that I have somehow hurt this child, I will be very quick to apologize and not make comments like "I am your mom and I am allowed to act that way". I truly believe that if we, as parents, are able to admit when we have done wrong and apologize; our children will model our behavior and be willing to apologize when they have done wrong.
4. Tell the child that I love them unconditionally and show them that love through my actions.

Most importantly I think is that I need to work on my confidence. Not a "self-confidence" but more of a "His-confidence". I need to always be aware that Jesus is unconditionally always there for each and every one of us. I need to look to Him for the strength and confidence to go about the work that He has asked of me and not allow the evil one even one chance to reach into my heart.

Matthew 22:37-39

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind". This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it: "Love your neighbour as yourself."